For about half of my adult life I was a good 100+ pounds over weight. For years, my primary thought was “I’m miserable. I don’t fit into any of my clothes. I hate how I look.” This did not feel like contentment. But it was!
What I was content with was WANTING. I was an expert at WANTING to lose weight.
Y’all are probably sick of hearing me talk about how I lost 100 pounds 5 times. But do you know why I did it 5 times? I really liked having this PROBLEM lurking over me.
I was MISERABLE on so many levels, and yet, I was really fucking content with having an extra 100 pounds of fat on my body because it made it so easy for me to keep my dreams small. It virtually eliminated all pressure to do anything (except lose weight). It gave me a reason for every failure or bad experience. I didn’t have to feel most of my feelings. I could just focus on hating my fat. If I wasn’t getting what I wanted I had the perfect excuse at my finger tips. “I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT…. And then I can worry about grad school, a promotion, getting a boyfriend, planning a trip, buying a house, having a baby, etc etc).”
When I lost weight, I lost that delightful excuse. I couldn’t hide behind my fat anymore. I had to act on my desires, not put them in a queue behind my diet.
BTW – for many of you the excuse is money. “I NEED MORE MONEY… And then I can….” Weight and Money are 2 of the best excuses – but they are both bold-faced lies.
So whether it’s money or weight or some other convenient excuse of choice, put that aside and ask yourself:
- What do you want?
- What are you content with having?
- How big are you willing to let yourself dream?
Maybe you want a successful business or you want to write a book or you want a partner who gets you at every level. But if you are content living without it – IF YOU ARE LIVING WITHOUT IT RIGHT NOW – you won’t make those dreams come true. You have to get uncomfortable enough to take action.
A lot of times we think misery and beating ourselves up about something counts as action. It doesn’t. Whether it’s our weight, our inability to focus, our bad judgment – being miserable about it is a sign we actually are content with what we have…. You know when I lost weight? When I STOPPED being miserable about it and just did it. I was done. I gave up the comfort and contentment of having a permanent excuse for being less than.
Here’s my hunch… my hunch is there is something you think you want… Let’s say it’s success in your business or to write a book. But there are ways you are CONTENT with not having that…. There is a way not having success in your business or not having a book is serving you.
So what’s the answer? What do you do?
Well here’s what I have found for myself… once you really decide you are done. Done being fat. Done playing small. Done saying you WANT to write a book. Done WANTING… then… you just go get it. Full stop. When you are ready you will just do it. No more questions. No more waiting. It’s like it’s already done and you just need to connect the dots between here and there.
The authors-in-transformation who sign up for my The Author’s Way program have decided they have already written a book that is going to transform their business and make a difference in the lives of their readers. Then they just have to connect the dots and our program makes it a guarantee that will happen. That’s why they pick our program. The trick is pulling the trigger.
If you don’t want a book, you’ll sign up for a writing workshop or you’ll join a writer’s circle. These are programs that can LOOK like forward action but that keep you stuck in a holding pattern of wanting.
If you REALLY want this – like not just for pretend – then I can’t wait to talk to you so we can make it happen.
P.S. The next group kicks off September 15th but I’m taking applications now. 4 spots have already filled. If you are done wanting, this is the program for you. Details are at www.TheAuthorIncubator.com/apply