I’m currently the world’s top life coach for man and the founder of the School for Men, a global community of men committed to mastering the game of life. I help men create love, power, and freedom in every area of their lives. And I have the honor or pleasure of working with men from all over the world and help them answer some of life’s deepest questions.
In 2013 I published August: A True Story of Love, Sex, and Entrepreneurship. It’s a one-month memoir that I decided to just write on a whim as I was going through a really interesting time in my life, starting a business, and traveling all over the world as a digital nomad. It began as just another idea, then I just did it! The process of writing my first book was a huge initiation into developing my voice and showing up in the word with a higher degree of authenticity and integrity.
I had many reservations about publishing this book. Because I wrote it in a month I had the idea that book couldn’t be good enough, or that it wasn’t a real book. I also shared dozens of extremely personal details of my life that I had never been public about before. I wrote about traumas, fears, struggles, challenges, and shared vulnerably about money and sexuality. It’s a very intimate, behind-the-scenes look at an entrepreneur that few people would allow to be public. All of this was extremely scary for me and I came up with many reasons why I shouldn’t publish.
But one of my main goals, outside of becoming a published author, was to share more of who I am with the world because I get to see every day how doing that impacts others and helps them to become more real and honest with themselves. I grew up in a family and in a religion where I had to lie frequently and it was unsafe for me to be my full authentic self, so this book was kind of like coming out of the closet and being who I truly was at that time in my life.
It’s funny looking back at this project after two years because, after a lot of personal growth, I’m now a very different man to the one who wrote that book. But I’m very happy it’s out in the world because people can see who I was at that point in my career, and read a behind the scenes account of what it takes to be an entrepreneur, to start a business, to get good with women, and find out what it’s like to just quit your career and take a big leap. It’s given me permission to speak more freely when I’m on stage, in a podcast interview, or with a client.
I had the interesting challenge of having to write every day for an hour while traveling all over the country by plane, car, and RV. Some days were easy to wake up and write while others were difficult because I had jam-packed my life with of adventures and activities and connections with amazing people.
Editing and publishing was ten times harder than writing because of my fears and resistance to actually putting myself out there. I didn’t think I was good enough to write a book, I was afraid of sharing just all of these secrets about my life to the world, and I almost backed out of publishing it altogether. I had phone calls with The Author Incubator where I was just arguing about editing and arguing about whether I even wanted to publish. They helped me so much with their leadership and helping me work through my internal blocks. They took a stand for all the readers I was going to help and they didn’t let me back out.
There are thousands of people out there in the world who now know me on a very intimate level. I meet people all the time at conferences and at events who already feel like I’m their close friend. This book has helped me establish a trust and rapport with potential clients that makes it easier for me bring them on board. It’s easier to get them deep into conversation and develop powerful connections with a lot less work and in less time. It’s also just really cool to have a book and to be a published author. This is something that I would have never imagined that I’d be doing in my life and I’ve done it!
One young man emailed me and said, “I read your book and started crying uncontrollably at Chipotle”, and talked about how it opened his heart. A 69 year old man read my book and decided to sell everything and become a digital nomad. He traveled for months at the age of 69 years old! I met him in person at a conference and it was really special to meet someone who changed his whole life just because he was inspired by my story.
I’d say the biggest benefit for me was all of the internal emotional shifts that the process of writing a book invoked. After I was published I became so much more confident, and so much more open about my life. I definitely want to write more books in the future.
I’ve compared stories with many writer friends about their writing processes and I’ve learned that most people quit before the end. If I hadn’t had The Author Incubator by my side there’s no way I would have published. I would have been stuck on so many things, from working through my internal blocks and fears to handling technical details like creating ISBNs and self-publishing on Amazon, designing a good cover, and the other hundred background things I know nothing about. Working with them let me focus on what I’m good at – writing – and they did what they’re great at, which is helping authors go from idea to published and holding a space for their success. It was a perfect business marriage.