One of our authors was describing her coaching style as being paid to be someone’s friend and that her clients get results because of how deeply she listens and holds space.
She wondered, however, if this “counted” — if it was enough to really charge people for.
I didn’t understand the question at first because I know the results she gets for her clients and the results are amazing. How could she doubt their value?
But now, I’m just about to fall asleep, and I think I get it.
Humans tend to do this fascinating thing where they decide to believe they’re not adequate enough. Not beautiful enough. Not smart enough.
She thinks she needs to work harder. To prepare and present a curriculum. Perhaps do more speaker training. Or maybe, design a PowerPoint presentation. Possibly, buy a suit.
(Maybe you know a coach who always thinks they have to do more, be more, have more certifications, lose more weight, buy newer clothes, send the kids off to college, get a new job, get better at time management, etc.
AKA figure more shit out first AND THEN they’ll know enough to help the person in immediate pain right in front of them who’s begging for help.)
Not in my book.
Here’s the thing: you’ve already figured some shit out that other people haven’t.
The people who need you most need to know how to get where you are NOW, not where you’ll be 5 years from now. In order to guide someone, you don’t have to be a million steps in front of them.
You only need to be a step or two ahead in order to know enough to help them get to where you are.
If you’re too far ahead, you’ll likely be too out of touch to reach them, to connect with them, and help them in the first place. Like if a junior in high school uses algebraic expressions to try to teach a kindergartener how to add and subtract. It’s great that you know algebra, but it’s FOR SURE not helping the kindergartener figure out what 4 + 4 – 6 is.
The way I see it there are 2 kinds of coaches:
- A teacher who gives (hopefully nicely-presented) information that is unlikely to ever be put into practical use by most people. (Think Marie Forleo, Brendon Burchard, or your algebra teacher). And,
- A mentor who sees you at your best and only holds space for you reaching that outcome as quickly as possible. (Think anyone who ever ACTUALLY HELPED YOU achieve a RESULT like the fitness coach who guides you to ACTUALLY losing the weight, or the career coach who helps you ACTUALLY get the job, or the relationship coach who ACTUALLY helps you get over your ex.)
Which is worth more to you: the information or the transformation?
Seems obvious to me, but I’d pay 10 times more for someone to get me results over teaching me stuff in a professional package.
It’s funny how many of our authors think a polished teacher should be paid more highly than a scruffy mentor, and yet, they all chose to work with me!
Which would you rather hire? A teacher to give you information or a mentor to get you to your goal?