What’s Worth More, Information or Transformation?

One of our authors was describing her coaching style as being paid to be someone’s friend and that her clients get results because of how deeply she listens and holds space.

She wondered, however, if this “counted” — if it was enough to really charge people for.

I didn’t understand the question at first because I know the results she gets for her clients and the results are amazing. How could she doubt their value?

But now, I’m just about to fall asleep, and I think I get it.

Humans tend to do this fascinating thing where they decide to believe they’re not adequate enough. Not beautiful enough. Not smart enough.

She thinks she needs to work harder. To prepare and present a curriculum. Perhaps do more speaker training. Or maybe, design a PowerPoint presentation. Possibly, buy a suit.

(Maybe you know a coach who always thinks they have to do more, be more, have more certifications, lose more weight, buy newer clothes, send the kids off to college, get a new job, get better at time management, etc.

AKA figure more shit out first AND THEN they’ll know enough to help the person in immediate pain right in front of them who’s begging for help.)

Not in my book.

Here’s the thing: you’ve already figured some shit out that other people haven’t.

The people who need you most need to know how to get where you are NOW, not where you’ll be 5 years from now. In order to guide someone, you don’t have to be a million steps in front of them.

You only need to be a step or two ahead in order to know enough to help them get to where you are.

If you’re too far ahead, you’ll likely be too out of touch to reach them, to connect with them, and help them in the first place. Like if a junior in high school uses algebraic expressions to try to teach a kindergartener how to add and subtract. It’s great that you know algebra, but it’s FOR SURE not helping the kindergartener figure out what 4 + 4 – 6 is.

The way I see it there are 2 kinds of coaches:

  1. A teacher who gives (hopefully nicely-presented) information that is unlikely to ever be put into practical use by most people. (Think Marie Forleo, Brendon Burchard, or your algebra teacher). And,
  1. A mentor who sees you at your best and only holds space for you reaching that outcome as quickly as possible. (Think anyone who ever ACTUALLY HELPED YOU achieve a RESULT like the fitness coach who guides you to ACTUALLY losing the weight, or the career coach who helps you ACTUALLY get the job, or the relationship coach who ACTUALLY helps you get over your ex.)

Which is worth more to you: the information or the transformation?

Seems obvious to me, but I’d pay 10 times more for someone to get me results over teaching me stuff in a professional package.

It’s funny how many of our authors think a polished teacher should be paid more highly than a scruffy mentor, and yet, they all chose to work with me!

Which would you rather hire? A teacher to give you information or a mentor to get you to your goal?

Comments

comments

31 thoughts on “What’s Worth More, Information or Transformation?

  1. POWERFUL WORDS!!! WELL SPOKEN!!! & THANK YOU FOR THESE ENCOURAGING WORDS OF WISDOM, INSPIRATION, & MOTIVATION!!!

  2. Honestly a mentor that allows a person to reach their goals would be more beneficial for anyone in my opinion. Information is useless without application. Personally I’ve been trying to figure out, read and gain as much information as possible to succeed, and with my brain full of possibilities, I catch myself wondering, “okay, what’s next?” I know what to do, I’m just not quite sure how to do the what. All the information I’ve obtained in this journey has been super helpful don’t get me wrong. I know I had to put in the work, want the change and growth, but I feel the lack of a “circle” or mentor has made the road a lot harder. When you want more, figure out you have a purpose for more and the people around you don’t understand it or begin to fade, that mentor would mean everything.

    1. I think we’ve all been there Brooklynn! Transformation is vital to our growth. However, not everyone is able to make those those necessary life changes on their own which is why it’s okay to ask for help— mentors exist for this exact reason!

  3. The notion that pre packaged information is going to replace the individuation process that mentorship and empathy provide is a naive position to take despite being wildly popular.I believe the popularity of programmatic answers speaks to the thirst for personal insight and meaning that each of us desires but seldom finds due to the conditioning milieu of the post modern experience. Unfortunately for most people a separation from the self is only puntuated by episodic crisis that give the necessary impetus to seek a reprieve from the self imposed chaos. Your points are well taken.Its important to remind ourselves that each one of us is enough and taking the journey to find the eternal truths within ourselves gives us what the human condition continually desires.

  4. I wholeheartedly agree, Angela. I was facing mental, emotional, finincial, narcisstic, and almost physical abuse, desperately looking for a way out. I was critically ill and didn’t know what was wrong with me until I was hospitalized less than a week after getting a restraining order against me. I needed help NOW! I needed transformation! The polished suits, PhD’s and the PowerPoint presenters invited me to seminars, gatherings and more “counseling” sessions to tell me they thought was wrong with me. I was lectured, blamed, promised, left hanging. I was in a worse state of mind than I was on my own. I didn’t give myself the trust I was giving them because I didn’t have what they had. I now know better. I had something they didn’t have… value that wasn’t derived from the polished presentation. I had authenticity and insight that I learned from inside the storm, a compassion for others who were just a step or two behind me, and a determination to be whole. I started moving forward when I realized I am that scruffy mentor who knew how to actually encourage myself. I would not be alive today if I had not trusted myself. I think when “experts” lean on their polish for validation, they forget to keep searching, learning, and yearning for growth. That scruffy mentor is hungry for truth and can’t wait until they receive an award to start helping others. That’s what I’ve witnessed.

    1. I totally agree Alicia. A lot of the polished PhD’s have forgotten their most important task, which is to keep learning and growing! Once they stop searching for new ideas and experiences their lectures and beautifully crafted PowerPoint’s quickly become outdated. There is always more work to be done! I’m happy to her you are in a better place now. Always trust yourself and the transformation process.

  5. I’d hire the mentor because having someone to show me how to succeed more ensures my success than relying on information alone.

  6. I’m the kind of person that will listen to advise. I like to get other people’s thoughts and compare them to mine. I know I’m not always right, so help me figure it out. I look forward to working with one of your authors and helping me but together a great book. I know my book will keep the reader wanting to know more. Also I think my book will help others that have been though the same issues. Thank you

    1. That’s never a bad idea! Others can give us valuable insight we’d never considered before. Sometimes we’re just a little too close to the situation to see the right answer— or any answer.

  7. Beautiful blog Angela! Fantastic question!
    I feel it’s a catch 22, (master number pun intended) 🙂
    My answer is both. The mentor could teach from experience,(THE BOOK) the and the teacher, while, using their liberal educational background, could teach by “A BOOK”. Maybe then, if we had more of that, we could all read from the SAME BOOK!!! 💖
    And if I was hiring people to better MYSELF, then I’d be doing the best for ME that I possibly could, by learning all sides, and becoming better for US And as a whole, I’d be making a difference, not based on the WANT of the material WEALTH, but based on the DESIRE of unrequited LOVE, which is the BEST kind of love! Its what we ALL want, its all we’ve ever WANTED, right? Some of us KNOW this to be true, and some of us have FORGOTTON. And that’s OK isn’t it? We’re only HUMAN Both KNOWING this and FORGETTING this CAN Change! If WE, go back to our CHILDHOOD, we will find that KEY.
    I’d like to quote D.R. Seuss, if I could, take you all back for a minute. “UNLESS”. (The Lorax) (read it if you haven’t, it’s a short one. 🙂 ok seriously though…
    Take a moment…take a breath… in through the nose and out through the mouth… In your head please go back to that sandbox from kindergarten…I know, I know, humor me, you know the one… the EARTH was PERFECT running through YOUR fingers, the WIND was blowing through YOUR hair, The SUN was shining, the SKY was BLUE, with big WHITE puffy clouds, there was the SOUND of childrens LAUGHTER and your FRIENDS were ALL around you… And LIFE was GOOD! ADMIT it… If we are HONEST with OURSELVES, then WE would SEE, its just better, for US.
    Right?
    I am NOT a published author, I am a WOMAN who has HAD a LIFE full of LESSONS that have TAUGHT me LOVE through LEARNING, to be LOVED by ME!
    What IF…
    We were to turn ME into US, that’s how it HAPPENS anyways, right?
    That would be HEALING!
    I really loved the sand box. Didn’t you?
    Thank you for sparking my imagination tonight!
    Ans please, keep the penny, my LOVE is YOUR love and BOTH are FREE!
    💖Blessings for your beautiful light Angela!
    P.s. I hope you LOVE run on sentences, or stories, it’s kinda my thing. 🙂 Raised by an AMAZING world, that TAUGHT me to DREAM! And I married into an amazing Greek family, so WE do things BIG! And my CHILDREN, ah, well They Are My World. The STORIES are many, LOVE is ALWAYS the end RESULT!

    1. This was such an awesome message… I was “Stuck in the Mud” before seeing this and I really thought that I needed to be polished up with the education and equipment…but like you guys stated, it helps no one standing in my face…including Monique (me). Just Do It Mo…that’s the music playing through my head. Thank you Angela for tapping into your gift and having the will to share it with others, such as myself ☺️

  8. Dr. Angela – I value both coaches…BUT I would only rock with the mentor who can help me get the results I am seeking. It’s about RESULTS: A CONSEQUENCE, EFFECT, OR OUTCOME OF SOMETHING . Nuff said. Next question…

  9. Mentors as in Greek history – A mentor can only help you with all they know. So soon the protege can reach the limit of the mentor . Several mentors are required for different stages of growth. A coach is someone who supports the individual to develop their own skills and knowledge albeit to point them in a direction in which to find aspect that will help them or challenge their knowledge.
    As a spiritual coach life coach it is to help individuals on their own path and their own experiences , from my perspective I learnt about crystals, energy medicine, reiki , alternative therapies , past life regression and hypnotherapy . The more facets to your own development the easier to build rapport with a client. To always be in a neutral space is essential so as not to colour others thoughts or to step in with answers , the key is to help each individual find their own answers and therefore more empowerment. I have never considered myself to be a teacher as it is too limited. The international Baccalaureate system of inquiry led learning is one aspect of positive change at kindergarten schools. So the roles of a facilitator or mentor or coach are replacing teaching roles…. how we acquire skills and knowledge much better than rote learning or through TELL. Confucius was right – ‘what I do I remember’ as learning is emotional .

    1. You’re absolutely right Jeffery. The mentors who were able to help you reach a certain point of transformation may not always be able to push you to the next step in your process. It’s important to be vigilante of this and partner with people who align with your never ending journey. “Learning is emotional” — I’ve never heard that one before, but it’s profound. If learning is emotional I wonder what transformation is!

  10. The transformation is the result of the information given or received. It takes transformation to understand the information. Transformation is why we either seek information or chose to bestow it upon others. So Angela, my answer is TRANSFORMATION!

  11. Transformation is the key. I could receive information from my mentor, but if there is no transformation then it would useless for me. There has to be a change in me. Especially for someone who has been through some of the same issues. There are gifts and talents inside each of us. Someone that can help bring it out is the key.

  12. Most if not all people (individuals or communities) inherently know what they need. A gifted coach is a really good facilitator. The transformation happens in the facilitation of the conversation for the participant/s . This type of conversation is not limited to a verbal interaction but can happen through reading, writing and experiential excercies facilitated by a person adept and gifted in the art of holding space for the growth of another person, by helping that person reflect on and explore the gamut of emotions, thoughts and experiences that make them who they are. Dr Angela and the Muses are amazing at what they have accomplished.

  13. I feel both information and transformation are two sides of the same coin.
    Transformation can be an alchemical process -often the outgrowth of some deep seeded pain, confusion or block (mental, emotional, physical or spiritual) that brings you to your knees. That humbling position, that space of surrender of all you know or think you know, or been told to know and believe, opens. In the not knowing, in that opening, a willingness forms; a willingness to receive. It is there that information of the highest order, which resonates with your Soul, awaits to motivate, restore, inspire and transform you. Often it will come from awesome non linear and linear places…including observing the majestic resilience of a ‘grandmother’ tree. or a mentor that holds sacred space and gently but unequivocally mirrors back to you, your unfolding.

    Thank you…this was thought provoking!

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